Son’s Birthday Wish
Here we are a year after my last blog post!
Last year our organization was just beginning and we had a lot of work to do to hit the ground running and find quick ways to fundraise and house people.
I apologize for taking so long to return to this story. It was a wildly busy year. Here is a bit of a recap from Part 1 if you are unfamiliar:
“Son and I started walking to the Chinese Medicine Shop and he told me about his life. I found out that he has a daughter my age, he is a chef, and he has slept in a box on the steps to this Chinese Community center for 10 years. I gave him a little bit of money, it was less than 5 dollars, and he wrote his phone number down on the box of medicine that I had just bought. I promised him that I will try and help him with a catering job once my apparel brand grows and I can afford to. I imagined him cooking for all of our models/crew when we do a photoshoot down the line.
This dream quickly came true.. Read next week to hear what unfolds. “
In 2018, I worked as a sewing/acting teacher for a non-profit after school program, I drove for ride share services on the side and did fashion design in my spare time. I did not have disposable income, but knew it would be important to boost my new friend Son up through offering him a catering gig.
I called Son but his number was out of service. He had earlier described where he lives and it wasn’t hard to locate the lone box on the steps of the Chinese Community Center in Oakland’s China town. He was not home, so I wrote on a small piece of paper and taped it to his box.
“Hey! This is Annmarie the Fashion Designer you walked to get Chinese herbs a few months ago. I have a catering job for you! Please call me at:” and I left my phone number.
A week later he called and was VERY excited. I offered him $100 to cook for 5 models for our upcoming swimwear shoot. He decided on Italian Seafood. We got the confirmation from my roommates to use our kitchen. I picked Son up form China town, we went shopping, got around $100 worth in groceries and I brought him to the Vulcan Lofts.
He told me more about his life, his family and his daughter. He beamed when talking about her and it was beautiful to see his happiness despite his hard life. Son escaped Vietnam as a refuge at 11. He moved with his aunt to San Francisco. Sadly he joined some notorious Asian gangs. He was married and had his daughter and then went to jail for his involvement in these gangs. After he got out his family had split up. He was doing alright for a while and then a family member falsely accused him of attacking her. Since he had already been to prison, the police took her word over his and he went back to jail. Then the US decided to strip him of his citizenship and send him back to Vietnam. This was a country he hasn’t lived in for over 30 years.
Vietnam didn’t want him either and refused to allow him to enter the country. So now he was in limbo between two countries and without citizenship it is hard to get a steady, and decently paying job.
So he worked as a chef, assistant chef and dish washer for some years. He didn’t directly share this with me but I could imagine that substance abuse played a piece in harming his chances at constant payed work. When recently speaking with a man who was helping him navigate housing through Oakland’s Tough Sheds, he shared that Son could not get into subsidized housing unless he was willing to join AA or sober up.
It’s baffling that this would block his housing as people need a home before they can heal.
Back to the photoshoot! Son made a gorgeous ceasar salad, a stunning shrimp Alfredo dish with homemade sauce and even insisted on us buying garlic bread for an appetizer and a cake for desert. The models were all blown away and honored to be spoiled with such a decadent pre-photoshoot feast. Our photographer took many helpings home with her and there was enough for all of us to save leftovers. I was even able to feed my roommates as a thank you for the use of our communal kitchen for a day.
I drove Son to the gym where he takes showers after the cooking was complete. I couldn’t afford to but gave son $170 for his kindness and culinary skills. He was tearing up, told me he loved me and we had a powerful hug before parting ways. I was fully broke but felt no stress as I can always catch up on my finances later. What happened that day was needed for my friend.
THREE MONTHS LATER
I get a text from Son’s daughter sharing that he has been in a hit and run. Thankfully he was still with us. She kept me updated with his injuries and status at Highland Hospital. I spoke with more knowledgeable housing rights members of Tenant’s and Neighborhood Councils. They shared options for paths to housing for him and even let me know about restaurants and cafes that make a point to hire formerly incarcerated people.
His daughter and I texted back and forth like this for a month and finally she asked me for my last name. I shared it and she then asked if I went to Benicia High. I did. She told me that we ran track and cross country together.
Nadia Nguyen!!! I exclaimed “WOOOOOAH!!!!!!!!!” Out loud and shared with my partner across the room. Not only had I been in the same graduating class as Son’s daughter, but I ran long distance track with her every day for two full years and Cross Country for three! This was amazing! My mind was blown that the very first unhoused person that I made a fully involved effort to help, would be related to an amazing woman who I spent a great deal of time with in high school.
This feeling of the universe confirming that “If you can help just one person, it will effect everyone you have ever met.” is incomparable to any experience I have ever had.
From there Nadia donated full car-loads of clothing that I happily shared with folks living on East 12th street in Oakland. We have kept one another updated and I offer her any and all knowledge I have on housing opportunities in the Bay Area.
When starting ABC, Son was absolutely someone I was hoping we would build an emergency tiny home for. We also talked about building another for his best friend who often stays in shelters with him. Luckily last May he started the path via transitional housing. I was deeply skeptical from what I’d heard from unhoused friends. Luckily Son entered the tough sheds with his best friend and was able to continue to live there (a lot of folks can’t take it and leave the program before gaining subsidized housing vouchers) until this month.
I am happy to announce that Son is staying at THE HILTON hotel in Emeryville in his own private room! He will continue to live there until he is placed in permanent housing and he shared that he has dreams of moving to Sacramento so he can be closer with his church. You are almost there Son! I could not be more happy for you <3
Son now texts me three times each week. He always says,
Mondays: “Happy dreadful Monday! Love and Miss!”
Wednesdays: “Halfway there!”
Fridays: “HAPPY FRIDAY! I am ALIVE!”
I am so honored to have met him in China town on that random day over two years ago.
Thank you Son. I hope you have permanent housing in Sacramento by your next Birthday.